The Gift
by YaminekoHyousai
Summary: Kumadori and Jyabura visit Lucci in the hospital. Kumadori brought him a gift. What a thoughtful guy! One-shot.


_A/N: This little fic came from a somewhat terrifying one-sentence prompt I heard from a friend. It's my first ever pure One Piece fan fic, so I hope I've characterized the CP9 members properly._

The Gift

"Kumadori…" Rob Lucci looked askance at the small bag one of his visitors was offering. "What the hell is this?"

"YOYOI!" thundered Kumadori, striking a ridiculous pose. "WELL, THIIIIIIIIIIIIS IIIIIS-"

"Yes?" Lucci prompted levelly.

"THIIIIIIIIS IIIIIIIIIS-"

"Yes?" Lucci prompted in a far less level tone.

Kumadori opened his mouth to continue, but a upraised hand silenced him.

"We think it's some kind of medicine," Jyabura told the bedridden Lucci. "That reindeer doctor of the Strawhats had it, and Kumadori said that he ate a few of those things during their fight."

"So Strawhat's friend dropped that?" Lucci extended a hand to accept the gift

"THAT'S PRECIIIIIIISELY CORRECT!" Kumadori confirmed, dropping it neatly the other man's palm.

Lucci reached into the small satchel, withdrawing a handful of small golden spheres.

"And what makes you think it's a good idea to eat strange medicine that you picked up off the floor?" he asked archly. "And in any case why would I need more medicine? Aren't I getting enough medical care in this damned hospital?"

"Look, you bastard, don't give me that crap!" Jyabura growled. A nasty sneer came over his face. "I saw how beat up you were after fighting that Strawhat shrimp! You'll need all the help you can get!"

Lucci leaned forward, anger clouding his features. "Stop barking, you damned mutt."

"What was that, you mangy alley cat?"

The two seemed prepared to turn the hospital into a battlefield, so Kumadori decided to intervene.

"YOYOYOYOOOI! STOOOP THAT RIGHT NOOOOW, YOU TWO! ARE WE NOT COMRADES?"

The other two eyed him irritably, but Kumadori, oblivious, pressed on. Tears streamed down his makeup-covered face as the large CP9 member pulled out a small drum from nowhere and struck his fingers upon it.

"FOOOR COMRADES TO FIGHT ONE ANOTHER, SUCH A THING INJURES THE NAME OF A MAN! YOYOI!"

"Tch," scoffed Jyabura.

"…fine," Lucci said, shrugging painfully. "I'll try this medicine of yours."

So saying, he quickly popped one of the balls into his mouth, biting down in an incredibly vicious fashion.

"Well, how is it?" Jyabura asked, having hidden himself behind the doorframe.

Rob Lucci paused for a moment, considering his answer carefully. "Hmmm, I'd say it's actually kind of sweet."

"I wasn't asking about the taste, you stupid bastard!" Jyabura yelled from his hiding place. "I was asking about how it felt. You're not going to explode or anything like that, right?"

"Ah," Lucci said, smirking as he debated whether or not to taunt his self-styled rival any more. "That."

"Don't just say 'that' so casually!"

Lucci reached out a hand to call over Hattori, who had been resting on the windowsill since the other two men had come in. When the pigeon had flapped over to him, he turned back to Jyabura.

"As for the medicine, I feel… surprisingly good."

"IS THAT SOOOOOO?"

"Yeah. I can feel something deep inside of my soul, like the very wellspring from which I draw my power is refilling stronger than ever. The pain and fatigue is slowly slipping away."

Jyabura gave him a blank stare.

Tears were running down Kumadori's face. "YOYOI! THOSE WOOOORDS! TO ME THEY ARE FILLED WITH THE HEART OF ONE WHO HAS TURNED BACK FROM THE RIVER BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH!" He beat the drum once more. "THE LION IS WEEPING FOR YOOOOU!"

Lucci cocked an eyebrow. "If you say so."

Jyabura quickly emerged from his position by the door and sped back over to Lucci's bedside. "Really? Those damn things are that strong?" He stroked his beard for a moment before sweeping up a small handful of the balls and popping one into his own mouth.

"YOYOI! JYABURA, HOW VEEEEEERY RUUUUUDE! THESE WERE A GIFT FOR OUR INJURED COMRADE!"

"Damn it Kumadori, we were all heavily injured!" Jyabura snarled, chewing vigorously. "I need this medicine just as much as anyone!"

"Maybe you should try one too, Kumadori," Lucci suggested.

"NOOOOOOO THANK YOU!" the huge man declined. "I DOOOOOOOOOO NOT ENJOY SWEET THINGS!"

"Ah."

The little drum toned once more.

"Damn, you weren't kidding about these things, Lucci," Jyabura said, before turning back to Kumadori. "You sure you don't want one, Kumadori? That guy messed you up pretty bad back in the Tower of Justice."

"YES, HE TRULY DID! THOUGH I TRULY ADMIRE THAT YOUTH'S MANLY SPIRIT, IN LOSING TO HIM, MY OWN MANLY PRIDE WAS SHAMED."

The two smaller men frowned as Kumadori dropped the drum and drew a short blade, positioning it in an all-too-familiar manner.

"Not again," sighed Lucci.

"YOYOYOI! THE WEIGHT OF THIS GREAT SHAME IS TOO MUCH TO BEAR, LIKE A COTTAGE ROOF CRUMBLING AFTER A HEAVY SNOWFALL."

"Oi, Kumadori-" Jyabura began, but Kumadori was not listening.

"NOW, NOW, NOW, LET WINTER'S PURE WHITE SNOW BE STAINED WITH THE CRIMSON TEARS OF THE MIGHTY LION'S HEART! A BURST OF BLOODSTAINED SAKURA TO GREET THE ADVENT OF SPRING!"

Kumadori raised his weapon, as though asking some higher power to bless his blade. Lucci and Jyabura, made no move, knowing exactly what was coming.

"SEPPUKU-"

The other two members reactions, having seen Kumadori's previous attempts at suicide, were unsurprisingly rather jaded. As such, their only response to the act was to simultaneously say the one word that always followed a declaration of 'Seppuku' from Kumadori.

"-TEKKAI!"

The shattered blade of Kumadori's short sword skittered along the floor of the hospital room. There was the customary five seconds of silence, before Kumadori slumped dejectedly and moaned.

"I CANNOT DIIIIIEEEE…"

"Kumadori," Jyabura groaned, holding his head in his hands. "Shut up. Just…shut up."

Lucci downed a second golden sphere, prompting Jyabura to do the same.

"Whoa, the second one tasted even better than the first," the wiry man laughed.

"Anyway, Kumadori," Lucci said, a more serious note in his voice. "Any ideas on how many of these things we can safely have at once?"

The huge man leapt to his feet, adopting a strange thoughtful stance. "WEEEEELL, DURING OUR STRUGGLE, I WITNESSED MY OPPONENT DEVOUR..." He held up three thick fingers. "THREEEE OF THOSE PILLS AS HIS GRIEVOUS WOUNDS MOUNTED."

"Three in one day, huh?" Jyabura mused. "I suppose that makes sense, given how powerful this medicine is. That reindeer freak really knows his stuff."

Lucci gave a predatory grin. "Yeah, I can feel the power. It's almost has a hunger to it, like it was made for Zoan users like us."

Kumadori scratched his chin thoughtfully. "WELL, THAT DOCTOR WAS ALSO A ZOAN-TYPE!" He clapped his hands together as a realization struck him. "YOYOI! DO YOU THINK THAT PERHAPS THE MEDICINE IS SPECIALLY MADE FOR ZOAN USERS?"

"That's possible," Lucci conceded as he eyed another pill. "Incidentally, Kumadori, just how did that reindeer man beat you, anyway?"

"THAT IS QUIIIIITE A TAAAALE!" came the answer. "FULL OF BLOOD AND FIRE! YOYOYOYOOOI! "

"Heh, I'll bet," Jyabura grinned, sitting cross-legged on the floor.

"Go ahead, Kumadori, tell us," Lucci leaned back against his pillows. "We're all ears."

Kumadori took a deep breath to begin his story, as Lucci and Jyabura both chose that exact moment to bite down on their third Rumble Ball apiece.


End file.
